What's your code word?

It has been 19 years since we took this photo. It was also around this time we came up with our secret code word only known to the two of us.

As a single parent, I always felt torn between work and family. Reluctantly, I was always choosing one over the other. Work was overwhelming and unpredictable because I had a lot to prove as a young leader supervising people older than I was. I once caught my son telling my mom my favorite thing to do was work. That crushed me.

At this point, I was definitely winging parenthood. I was desperately trying to hide my impostor syndrome at work as well as at home. In truth, I was missing my time with my baby boy, and I needed him to know how important he was to me, so Karl and I made a pact.

We came up with a code word. Whenever the word is used, I would drop everything and run to him no matter the situation. No questions would be asked; I'd just run. He understood the power of that word and used it whenever he had a secret to share with me.

One day when I picked up the phone, all I heard was huffing and sobbing on the other end. Karl cried uncontrollably until he blurted out "the" word. He was around 9 then. I knew it was serious, but I had a high stake pitch in an hour. Ultimately, I chose to run home and left the team to handle the pitch. When I walked in, I saw a dead hamster while Karl was curled up in bed.

As he grew older, the code word was used less and less. I don't remember him using it once he hit high school. He eventually left for university in a new country, navigating life on his own. Then suddenly, Covid wreaked havoc on all students, leaving them isolated and stressed. Out of the blue, he called.

"Mom, I am thinking about coming home."

"Why? Isn't it safer to stay put? I don't even think there are flights."

"Mom, I am coming home… It's PINEAPPLE!"

"Oh."

What's your code word with your child?